Forgiveness - Matthew 18:21-35
July 3, 2011

I want to begin today by asking, "When was the last time someone did you wrong?" When was the last time someone cut in front of you when you were standing in line? Or when someone intentionally gossiped about you and spread nasty rumors about you? Or when did someone say something that really bruised your ego or deeply discouraged you?

I remember some years ago I was having dinner with some friends and one my friends was renowned for saving money and always making other people pay for him. At the time, God had blessed me with a solid income for a college student so I often bought this friend dinner. But every time I would pay for his meal, I would always offer to and reassure him that I would pay for it… until one day, we were having dinner and as soon as the meal was over, we got up to the counter and he told the cashier, "He's got it." I was so stunned that I said, "No I only have enough for my meal." But he audaciously told me that he didn’t even bring his wallet to dinner because he just assumed I was going to pay for everything. I was so offended and he was so unrepentant that that was the last time we ever had a meal together or actively spent time together.

Many of you know this feeling: the feeling of being betrayed, of being used, of being made a fool of, and of being belittled. It's the feeling you get when someone wrongs you.

After the Columbine shooting in April 1999, several controversies arose in the aftermath. Some of these controversies dealt with gun control, other controversies dealt with parenting styles, and still other controversies dealt with violence in media. But there was one controversy that was particularly sensitive: After the shooting, a carpenter named Greg Zanis erected several crosses on a nearby hill in memory of those who were killed in the incident—and to the fury of many, he erected two additional crosses for the shooters who killed themselves, Dylan Harris and Erik Klebold.

This caused an enormous commotion as family and friends of the victims were torn between forgiving the shooters and encouraging their parents or hating the shooters and cursing their parents.

And it was a very interesting time because the situation epitomized the only two possible results when someone wrongs you: you can either forgive them or not forgive them. You can ask them to pay for what they've done (which some did by vandalizing the crosses of the shooters) or you can take a different route.

But regardless of what you would do that in that situation or what you and I tend to do when people wrong us, we need to understand a few lessons that derive from our text here in Matthew. Here, Jesus teaches us five profound truths about forgiveness and what we as Christians are called to do when we are wrong—Jesus teaches us…

1. What is forgiveness?
2. Who do we forgive?
3. When do we forgive?
4. How do we forgive?
5. Why do we forgive?

1. What is forgiveness?

In our story, there is a servant who got himself into a literarily impossible debt (as in the phraseology that Jesus uses is describing the amount of debt was inconceivable at the time): In NT times, a talent was not a coin but a way of weighing money. One talent would be the equivalent of 6,000 drachmas which is what an average person would make in 20 years. If we converted these numbers to modern American dollars, assuming the average salary is about $30,000 a year, one talent would be equal to $600,000. Thus, ten thousand talents would equal roughly $6 billion dollars of debt.

And in light of this incredible debt, this servant pleads with his king to be patient with him so that he could repay the debt. But Jesus tells us that the king had "pity" on the man, using the word aphiēmi—a word reserved only for Caesar and high officials who had the power to pardon someone from capital punishment. So, out of the grace of the king, servant was completely pardoned from this insurmountable debt. But oddly enough, this same servant is owed money as well—but unlike the king, he forces people to pay him back instead of being patient. To put in another way: the servant demands that people pay for their debt but the king pardons the servants debt—who then paid for the servants debt? The king!

In other words, there are two responses to debt: (1) you can be like the servant and demand that people pay for it, which is legally right and normal; or (2) like the king, you can pay the debt yourself.

Forgiveness, therefore, is not making someone pay for their debts—I once knew a girl who would get upset about almost everything and even if you apologized, she would say "I forgive you" but bring it up over and over again. This is not what forgiveness is. This is actually the opposite of forgiveness.

Forgiveness, however, is paying the debt yourself. I once heard a story from a friend of mine whose family invested in a motel on Colfax. Long story short, this family was swindled out of their money to purchase this hotel and accrued an enormous amount of debt as a result. They pleaded with the hotel owner who amazingly decided to cancel the debt and sell them the hotel for what very little they had to give, cancelling almost $180,000. This is exactly what forgiveness looks like, as it is the paying of someone else's debt: although they deserved to pay for what they did, you are pay for it instead.

2. Who Do We Forgive?

This may be difficult for some of you but, in short, we are to forgive the church. Jesus uses very intentional language here using the word doulos for servant—the same word Paul uses to describe the Christian. This is how we know that this passage does not teach that someone can lose their salvation because the servant is already blessed by being in submission to the king. It was possible for this servant to never have been chosen as this king's servant but the king graciously chose him.

And to those that the king graciously chose, Jesus is teaching us that we ought to forgive them. In other words, if there is someone in this room or someone you know if that has claimed to be a Christian and this person has wronged you, need to forgive that person.

If there is someone who you know that isn't a Christian who has wronged you, then you need to remember this: Hebrews 10:30 says, "For we know him who said, "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," and again, "The Lord will judge his people." In other words, God is good and God is just and, as a result, He will repay some evildoers in our lives with His wrath.

As responsible Christian, we ought to continuously evangelize to a fallen world but since this world is indeed fallen, we can take hope in God's righteous vengeance upon those who have direly wronged us without repentance.

3. When Do We Forgive?

Immediately. Not as soon as possible but immediately. As in, if at this moment you have a burden in your heart because you know you've yet to forgive a brother or sister in Christ, after this sermon, today, right now, you must forgive that person—first in your heart then in person.

In our text, the king had immediate sympathy for the servant. So, too, you should immediately forgive this person. Ephesians 4:26 says this, "'In your anger do not sin': Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry…"

4. How Do We Forgive?

In the beginning of our text, Peter asks Jesus how many times he ought to forgive someone. In the Jewish custom, in order to exemplify a forgiving spirit, pardoning someone three times was sufficient; however, Jesus quotes Genesis 4 and says 70 times 7 times.

If you notice, Jesus does this frequently—apart from the meanings this phrase has on Genesis and the Covenant of Grace, Jesus' tendency to exaggerate things is frequent and purposeful: When Jesus says that even looking at a woman lustfully is committing adultery or that hating someone is as good as killing him, he is making a point—that adultery and murder have nothing to do with your actions but with your heart.

In the same way, when Jesus exaggerates this notion of forgiveness, He is ultimately saying that forgiveness begins in the heart: See, Peter was focused on the act of forgiving but Jesus reminded Peter that forgiveness is not merely an act but a way of being—to forgive someone 70 times 7 times is to be continually forgiving and to have a heart that cannot stop forgiving. This means two things:

1. It means that when a brother or sister in Christ wrongs you, you quickly forgive them. You do not take revenge on them. You do not talk badly about them. You do not hate them or avoid them. You utterly forgive them because your heart is continually set on forgiving.

2. But a heart that is continually set on forgiving is also a heart that is continually set on apologizing. Because you forgive so easily, you apologize very easily. When you offend someone without knowing, you apologize. When someone finds something you did rude or intruding, you quickly apologize. Why? Because your heart is set on forgiving; you are not concerned with how you feel, how low your pride is, how high your ego is, etc. but you are just concerned with forgiving those around you.

5, Why Do We Forgive?

And most importantly, why do we do this? Why do we immediately pay the debts of others, even when they deserve to pay for it themselves? Why do we live our life apologetically, with a heart ready to quickly forgive and apologize? Two reasons:

1. Because this is what Jesus Christ has done for you. On the cross, Jesus Christ forgave you of your sins—that means He didn't just erase your sins or cancel the debt of sin. That would be incorrect to say that. Instead, Jesus Christ paid the price for your sins and paid the eternal debt that you could not pay.

2. Because this is what Jesus Christ is doing for you. When you sin, who is quick to forgive and slow to anger, as the Psalmist says? Who immediately picks you up, dusts you off, and sends you on your way? It isn't yourself; it's Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior.

The world we live in is harsh, discouraging, and bent on breaking us down and beating our spirits up. The things see in the media and in culture encourage us to be destructive, to crucify each other for the sake of protecting ourselves. It is fixated on the self and how to make life individually better instead of communally better.

But forgiveness allows us to preview the world we will live in one day: Heaven is bent on redemption, bring together what was taken apart, binding what was loosed, and fixing what was broken. In the same way, when we engage hostility and wrongs, the world tells us to make them pay but the Bible tells us that this is the last thing that God wants: God is redemptive and He calls us to be and do the same in forgiving one another.